A new poem for you! Please do share your thoughts and comments below.
Sometimes I wonder how it feels
To live constantly in the faded painting of reality.
To live only with work, with worry, with pain
To have the primary hues of the every day.
Sometimes I try to untangle the strings
That tether me to the colourful release
Of gardens flourishing vividly in my mind –
And bring myself back to the dark places
To the misted illustration constructed outside my head
And is, disappointingly, still there every time
I worry, that I have belonged to both artworks for too long
and now, my imaginary world and reality are so closely intertwined
That I can no longer untie the knots with cold hands, grasping
for the morning air.
they plait themselves together in a melodious haze of brilliant colours
flooding my mind with their intricate design
and dulling the guilt, the fear, the pain
breathing the blackness away,
till reality is a distant memory
where the azure tide flows backwards, and the sea is painted too high
for me to swim in it.
Now, I choose the sand.
Am I naive to think this will last?
To think that a one-stringed future won’t be dulled
by my mind-woven past?
But still, the strings tangle themselves, too close
To separate with my fingers
And I choke
Trying to bite off the knots with my teeth.
They are wrapped around my neck now, pulling me in
Till the picture named ‘reality’
Grows rather dim…
Perhaps, I think, and now it seems
I will always be painting
in the artwork of dreams.
A poem for him. Please share your thoughts below!
Wounds hurt and they bleed
From the words left unsaid
Silence ringing loud inside my head
The pain of the broken chain cuts my skin
Till it tears, to let the darkness in.
I can’t keep fighting your indestructible, exterior shell
The bottomless pit of anger that never ends well
While I’m searching for some normalcy, some self-aware
But only fragments of personality
can be found there.
I try to fit them to my mould, piece the broken parts together
Find any familiar warmth from our intrinsic tether
You resist, break away
Float from my arms
Into a distant land which seems too far
For my mind to reach, for these wounds to bleed
They’ll heal someday, but you’re still so far away
From who I had hoped
You would be.
Maybe you’re ok, maybe you’re just fine
Maybe the only sickness is here in my mind
Where I’m floating between these options slowly driving me mad
To my tear-streaked hole, where I alone conjure sad.
I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong
I’m trying to help but my mind isn’t strong
Enough, to pretend it could deal with your hurt
While I sit alone and writhe, wondering if mine is
Hey guys, I know it’s been a while! Here’s a new poem I’ve been working on. Hope it resonates with someone…
6 years old, thought I’d be a writer
Everyone around me knew that I was brighter
Than the others, I was different
Special, it seems
Who knows, I could fulfil
All my rainbow-hued dreams
16 years old, knew that I was a fighter
I’d come through the darkness, knew it could only be brighter
The HSC hung on a gold-edged beam
Waiting for me to come, to reign supreme
To show depression what’s up
Kick anxiety in the gut
Stuff the days I’d been caught in a rut
It was time to raise up high and gain the crown
I thought, never again would I be brought down.
But I never thought
I’d be a depressed, a mess, somehow less
Than all my darkest dreams could conjure
Up the image of a life being squandered
For the brief happy, careless happy
The “it’s ok”
Chasing the rainbow for one more day
I want now happy, good happy
But I can’t see
From all of the sadness that’s blinding me
From the sunshine
Instead I brought the moonlight, and it’s dim
Shines light on my face
And shows who I never thought I’d be
at 19 –
The sequel of a failure and
A life that’s a
Tried to do something clever with this poem? No idea if it worked/you noticed it… but let me know!
I had forgotTen how your eyes ache when the tears begin to add up.
Mine did for an eternity when they told us it wasn’t beNign,
that it won’t be long to wAit now.
Because Seven days is a breakneck pace when all you have
We knew you were Sick, somehow though
We were counting on you, to surVive —
Back beFore they gave us
Three weeks, Too cold to calculate
all you were to us
until, at last,
Now recalculate your figures. Did you notice the Numbers slipping away?
Spontaneous, ambiguous, not even sure what this fully means but I know it came from a place of meaning.
your hand reaches out to my shoulder
tries to pull me away from the flames
you’re too close, it’s too hot there my darling
you’ll burn all of your skin away
you offer me opened hearts
opened mouths, gentle looks
I still fear that the flames might disappear
so I shy away from the the touch of your hand
and plunge, into, the fire.
you still see the tears
you still see the pain
I am still bent on
pushing you away
sands through the hour glass
falling and spinning
waiting for the meaning of “close”
to be clearer
dancing around questions
knives bloodied with lies
time is ticking till you and I
are no longer alive, to be here
to be painted with fear
that the flames on my breath
will pull you into danger
please don’t plunge, into, the fire.
just be close, enough, to touch.
Here’s a little ditty for a particular person… you can tell I wasn’t feeling all too positive about them.
A prime example of poetry as catharsis!
G minor, F major, C minor, D minor
Her face was frozen in a perpetual scowl
Trying to bring down those she hadn’t brought down
Sneaking and scheming and getting her way
The worst thing was that we’d been friends for a day
But it passed
And we changed
And maybe I changed
For us to reconcile our differences
B major, F major, G minor, D minor
And I know that you don’t care
And I know you probably hate me
But all that this is doing
Is making us tear each other down
from the insides.
G minor, F major, C minor, D minor
Why don’t you smile?
Try it on for a while…
But her face was frozen in a perpetual scowl
Trying to bring me down further than
She already had…
The second part of a piece on fulfilment… I hope it fills you as much as it filled me to write this!
It strikes me that we are constantly searching for the next thing, the most fulfilling thing, in this life – but do we ever truly find it? Or how can we, if we do not?
I pick up each piece of shattered daydreams
not one makes me whole.
I reach for glory, yet I do not find
I reach for fulfilment, yet I am empty
a bottomless pit of gratification
give me more, give me more, give me more
I’m drunk on the euphoria
sending chills through my bones
just one moment
before I fall back down.
the more I try to reach for it
the more I fail…
Yet he saved me from the failure
through his nails…
so that I may know –
I was a made for more than pleasure
made for more than personal gain.
I was made for more than wealth
made for more than success, houses,
for constantly reaching for
which seem constantly to be
I was made for JOY.
I was made not for my glory
but for that of the One who
for that of the One who
made me whole
the only One who can truly make
so full, that I overflow
the feeling spreads through my
bones, and my blood –
this time, it lasts
We pretend this world can be enough.
But fulfilment on earth is not something to be grasped… or is it?
Filling, filling, filling
Feeling my way through the air
Gulping, breathing, hoping
That it will make me care
about the pain that’s throbbing in my chest
as I’m falling slowly down
I’m fanning fires with bark chips
Pressing paper to my graze
More I put in, the more I bleed
More I take, the more I leave
Truth rears its head inside me
Nothing here can full complete
I’m lying, trying, to convince,
Myself “okay” is enough for me.
But it will never be…
I was not made for here.
Short, but meaningful (I hope!). Please do comment your thoughts!
“Good morning, my hero,” comes my whisper
Echoing through sterilised halls.
Your eyes flicker open bravely
Once more ready to save us all.
You suit up with a superhuman smile
It’s a beautiful disguise
For the purple, flowering bruises you bore
From warding off the bad guys.
For the wounds which drip with blood and tears
Of last night’s battle with the beast
Kryptonite, cancer, whatever it’s called
It knocked you off your feet.
You reach out a hand to rescue me
But somehow I’m far away
“Goodnight, my hero,” I say gently now
“You’ll save me again, someday.”
Musings from today. Please do comment and share your thoughts/awkwardly deep emotions… (nope? just me?)
the numbness creeps in
day after day
wasting hours, and hours, and lifetimes, away.
staring at screens
and cars that drive by
wishing somehow that I had made more of my life.
refresh, repeat, ignore the cold
you won’t notice the emptiness till you get old
let’s just laugh, have a good time
enjoy, pleasure, it’s fine…
till a thawing sensation heats up in my soul
I don’t want to be empty and cold anymore
I want feelings, emotions
pain if I must
I’ll walk through the flames, bare footed to just
feel. away. the numb.
I’ll bleed. away. to nothing.
we’re spinning, swirling, pretending through space
it’ll all go away if we just be brave…
but the thawing spreads to my heart and I know
in the end
hurts more than